June 17th 2010 - Road map

It is so great having Damien and Alicia in our lives. As many of you know we will be going on a five week journey from Sweden all the way down to Spain and across the whole north of Spain. We are happy to be taking on this big adventure through 7 European countries and through the north of Spain together. Many people have mentioned how impressed they are that we are taking on such a big adventure. It seems so natural for us. We have always loved traveling before we had kids and we do not see traveling with two kids as that big of a difference. I guess the biggest change is that before when traveling, we would try to make record time getting to the destination. Now the whole trip is part of the vacation. We have to take things a lot slower. When a baby is hungry we stop and feed the baby and enjoy where we are at. When someone needs a diaper change or wants to get out of the car seat to move around, we will stop, do it and enjoy the place that we are at. Since many of the places that we will be traveling to will be new, the whole voyage in the car will be an fun experience in its self.

The trip through Europe can easily be seen as an analogy of our lives together with Alicia and Damien. We have to enjoy the voyage no matter how hard it seems at the time. With Damien we have a general idea as to where the voyage is going to go. Alicia is a bit more of a mystery. We work real hard to go to a certain destination, but we often take a lot of detours, and get lost. With Alicia a lot of times we are happy when we finally figure out where we are, but then we can get frustrated because we have not made as good time as we wanted. We try to enjoy the whole adventure, but at times it can definitely be frustrating because we know that reaching the final destination is going to be hard to get to. Then we realize that Alicia's destination is not at the same location as where we had originally intended to go. I have to be better at realizing this. It will still be awesome when she gets there, and we are constantly learning to be happy with her progress along her map.

It is amazing to see how a baby's progression is supposed to naturally occur. Damien seems to be doing something new every day. We have never really had to train him to do anything, it just comes. With Alicia the situation can be frustrating at times. It is hard to understand why she has to work so hard to take such small developmental steps. We do not compare the kids and are happy when each one does the best that he or she can do. We just wish that things came easier for Alicia. I need to be better at appreciating what Alicia can do as opposed to what she cannot do. It just can be difficult when you train and train and train for Alicia to learn something new, for example to sit up straight on her own. You get excited when she sits for 3 seconds by herself and you know that she has come a long way. Then you look over at Damien who has been able sit up by himself since he was about 4 months old and you wonder why it has to be so hard for Alicia. It really isn't the way that it is supposed to be. She should not have to go through all of this.

When Alicia accomplishes a new developmental milestone we are always happy. I need to get better at appreciating it more and for a longer period of time. No sooner do I congratulate her for sitting for 3 seconds, which is forever in her time, than I think to myself, "Ok at 2 ½ years old she should be walking. How are we going to get her to that point?" I can also be frustrated because even though Alicia is doing the best she can my mind wanders to other thoughts like will she ever be able to get to the destination we had originally wanted her to get to. Then again I must be satisfied with where she is at in her journey to her destination and not looking at her in comparison to the destination that most other people flock to.

On this past Monday it was so nice to be able to have Damien with me at my school for a teacher work day. Damien impressed everyone with his charm, strength, and awareness. I was really happy that he seemed to enjoy it so much. It was nice to be able to feel like everything was the way it was supposed to be. When things come so easy it becomes just as easy to wonder why other things have had to be so difficult.

Alicia has been really gaining momentum with her training. We are seeing all kinds of strength development in her body. She is just flat out more sturdy. Alicia also is looking a lot more in the direction that she is supposed to be looking. For example, when we call her from a side she turns her head toward us which is a big improvement. Alicia is gaining more stamina for the training as well. At first Alicia enjoyed about 15 minutes of the 60 minute sessions and then she would get real tired and cry for most of the rest of the session. Now she is pretty happy for about 40 minutes of the sessions and then she is not so happy for the last 20 minutes or so.

If you look back to last year at this time she has come a tremendous way on her road map. At this time last year Alicia had infantile spasms, where she would have numerous seizures throughout the day. Of course this caused her to lose all of her development that she had accomplished up to that point. Now we have a healthy, happy young girl. You've come a long way Alicia! Let's keep on going down the road to your destination and lets continue to enjoy the trip!